Never Any Doubt.

As much as I enjoy all of these beautiful pretty things and sometimes think they might physically fill whatever is emotionally missing, it's times like this when I realize how silly that is. Nothing can replace relating and loving people. It's easy for relationships to begin and end. I forget to treat them that way.

I'm usually caught up with my own feelings and issues. I listen to others when they speak, but shamefully, i usually wander back into my own half way thru. Once it gets to the point of consoling, I feel like there isn't anything for me to say or do. Reassurance is false, and throwing cliches doesn't seem helpful. But I guess, in the end, all we really want is kindness.

So I think I've found my New Years Resolution- which, in the past, i've never stuck to- but this one will be a process.

I'll pick my battles, and start considering more how I'd like to be treated, and above all, restore faith in people... which is no easy task, i know. But I'm sure the reason I don't trust anyone is because I don't believe that caring people really exist. Which is a contradiction on my part, because my whole philosophy of life is that people are all ultimately good, yet I feel like they're all mostly ugly. It's time to start believing.